Today is August 2,2106 and I am officially making Aliyah. My nerves are high but not as high as I expected them to be because it really just feels like I am going home. I asked Hashem to open my heart and to allow me to receive his energy and to just be still and listen. This journey has not been easy at all but it has been beautiful and like a patchwork blanket, has been woven with love and trust in my creator. I truly have no idea how coming home is going to be but I know that this is where I am supposed to be.
Today started out early and almost uncertain. I got up and worked out and repacked my luggage and then I arrived at the airport and a small rainbow appeared in my heart as the final clue that I made the right decision. I went through El AL security which was intense but I waited it out because I know anything worth having is worth waiting for.
I sit in my beautiful window seat, 51A to be exact, and about 6 hours into my flight and I can’t wait to touch the Israeli ground because then I will know it’s really real. New friends and new experiences await me..
What is it that is drawing me home. Why the constant excitement to go to a place that may be uncomfortable compared to where I am now. A place that I have never even been to? I have no idea. Part of my journey has been to acknowledge that I don’t have all of the answers, matter of fact I don’t have any answers. Yet here I am up up all night, I missed my zumba class and I’m desperately trying to finish my go north application and plan a one month vacay with basically no finances and a senior in high school. Wow. That is me and my big chutzpah! I know that if I am supposed to be there, I will. So this itch won’t go away until I get away.
Is it true? Will I be pushing my way through the stores erev shabbat…… every week? Will I need to just go to the shuk during the week? What’s the real deal with the food thing? Well besides Jews and food go together so well but I mean why can’t I just shop every Wednesday or something? Hmm, if it were that easy I guess I wouldn’t be writing about it right? I gotta catch up but I kind of feel like the catching up is going to happen when I arrive. Gd willing
Right now as I lay recuperating I have a lot of things to think about one thing that I’m consistently thinking about is what it means to be a Jewish woman and I mean not what the world thinks of me but what I think of myself! It has been really interesting because I’ve grown since I have made the decision to return legally and physically to the place that I think that I have always been but just did not know it yet. I’m a hairstylist so i’m always working on Saturdays and I always felt something missing I want to take Shabbat off, that is important to me. I now know that with having a small breast cancer scare and still being in the eye of the storm as I type this today. I have really figured that out so when I return to work I will work an alternate day instead of Saturday, mission accomplished!Okay also I have always wanted to be a little bit more observant in the way that I eat…. I mean I don’t eat pork or shellfish,I look at labels and buy kosher items but I am truly not what I want to be as far as KASHRUT. And I don’t want any of that rabbinical fenced-in style ruling stuff, I want what Hashem knows lies in my heart. I want to think about every time I pick up a piece of food I want to be reminded of who I am I really feel like I have started that super cautiously now but I guess there’s always room for improvement (said in my sarcastic voice) anywho I know this is a blog about me and my Aliyah process but the best part of making Aliyah is not just saying you want to go, it is all of the small intricate thoughts that go with that decision, so I decided I would just share some of my craziness with all of you (and by all I mean two people.haha) I hope I can continue to tighten my relationship with the very being that allows me to be here every day!
You have come and gone and Baruch Hashem, I’m still in the building. My last year’s battle with breast cancer was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. I mean some people may never understand that statement but hey, it’s my story. I always wanted to make Aliyah and this life changing event was the push that I needed. 2014 has taught me to just let life be. Live and love to the fullest capacity and do what the hell you want to do. What I want is a new space. I want adventure. I need it. I am from this MOMENT embracing this new journey to the Holy land. I know it won’t be easy but I will still have a smile on my face because I am doing what is right for me! Thank you all for reading my words and I hope you all hold on to what I know is going to be a fun ride!